I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
