Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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