did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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