Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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