so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
