ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
