U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
