whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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