i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
