I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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