i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I showed him my bush... on skype.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
