Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
