it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
