My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think people are normalizing furries
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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