i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
