Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
