You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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