woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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