If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
