I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
