Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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