My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
operation harelip BJ is a go
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I came so hard my ears popped.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
