I'm drive I can fine osifer
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I touched a dick in church today
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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