Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
