Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
