Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
