I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
