i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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