Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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