What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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