who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
