I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
