So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
