Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
