It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there is glitter all over my balls
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