Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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