ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
