I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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