You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
