I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
