Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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