I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
