everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
