you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
