Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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