i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she peed on how many people?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
