Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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