So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
