Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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