I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need water and some morals
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
