Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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