I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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